


Slow Train

by ButterflyGhost



Category: due South
Genre: AU, Angst, Betrayal, F/M, M/M, Prison
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-10
Updated: 2016-03-10
Packaged: 2018-05-25 23:35:39
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,560
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6214627
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ButterflyGhost/pseuds/ButterflyGhost
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ray doesn't shoot Fraser.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Slow Train

**Author's Note:**

> Extreme angst. No redemption. You are warned.
> 
> (Thanks to Bluehaven for Beta. This is a scratchy first draft, and all remaining mistakes are my own.)

 

“She’s got a gun!”

 

Ray’s hand went up, his focus narrowed to a pinpoint then –

 

Benny swung himself onto the train, hovered for a moment in the doorway, and blocked Ray’s line of sight.

 

_Fuck._

 

Ray jerked his hand to the left. The bullet pinged against the side of the train, and Ray went weak with shock.

 

 _Oh my God, Benny,_  Ray dropped his gun.  _Oh my God. I almost shot you._

 

“Vecchio.” A strong arm went around his shoulder, and someone was holding him up. Welsh.

 

“Sir.” Ray’s mouth was numb, but he managed to speak. “I almost shot him.”

 

“But you didn’t.”

 

No. He didn’t. And Benny had her. Ray sucked in a breath, stooped to pick up his weapon. He was still shaking. They were damned lucky it hadn’t gone off when it fell.  _God._  He flicked the safety back on and emptied the chamber before handing the gun to the Lieutenant. His palms were clammy, and his heart was beating through his chest.

 

 _God. I could have killed him. Crazy Mountie._  Ray passed his hand over his face.  _Calm down,_  he told himself.  _Benny’s okay. He’s got her._  Any minute now Benny would pull the emergency brake, the train would grind to a halt, and they’d have her.

 

But the train continued to accelerate out of the station. Ray felt sick.  _What if she’s killed him already?_

~*~

 

A few hours later the news came back. The train had been pulled over, yet after a meticulous search, there was no sign of either Victoria or Fraser.

 

The Lieu dropped a heavy hand on Ray’s shoulder. “Don’t worry, Vecchio.” His face was grim. “If she’d wanted to kill him she’d have done it already.”

 

“She’s good at killing people,” Ray said, staring at his cold coffee. “And getting away with it. Do you honestly think her sister’s death was an accident?” He looked up at Welsh, feeling as bleak and hopeless as he ever had done. “It was convenient. Best case scenario is that she’s going to keep Benny as a hostage, and kill him when it suits her.”

 

“Don’t think the worst.” Welsh almost sounded like he believed it. “Fraser’s a resourceful man. He can look after himself.”

 

Ray closed his eyes and pictured the train speeding away, the empty platform. His heart hurt.  _What if they’re wrong? She hates him so much._ He swallowed.  _What if he’s already dead?_ “Oh, God.” He didn’t notice he was speaking aloud. “Please, Benny, don’t be dead.”

 

The Lieutenant’s hand squeezed his shoulder, then let go. It was not like the Lieu to offer physical gestures of support. That, more than anything, told Ray that he was in a bad way. All those things he had been working so hard to deny - to himself, to Benny. All those things he had been hiding from - anyone could see them now.

 

 _It's my fault. Why did I ever start that 'friends with benefits' crap?_ Even at the time, he had known it was a lie.

 

Benny never knew, though. Ray never told him. Maybe if he had told him, Benny wouldn't have been so vulnerable when Victoria turned up. Maybe....  

 

Yeah. Right. Ray had seen Benny's face. Shit.

 

And yeah. He knew it. He'd been behaving like a jilted lover even before Benny left. People had always suspected. Now they knew. 

 

Ray should be afraid of that – what it would mean for him at work if IA ever cleared him to work again. He should be afraid of what his family would think when they found out. But –  _‘that’s not important right now.’_  Benny’s voice, clear as a bell in his head. Nothing was important anymore if Benny was gone.

 

Oh God. Ray didn’t care who knew that he loved Benny. He covered his face and let dry sobs shake his shoulders. Victoria had killed Benny. She’d killed him.

 

It didn’t even matter to Ray when the warrant came through for his arrest.

~*~

 

“Ray.”

 

Frannie wasn’t wearing makeup. Her face was white and pinched, and there were blue shadows under her eyes. He stared at her through the glass and wondered how he looked to her.

 

“Frannie.”

 

She’d been coming to see him every day. After the first visit there seemed to be nothing they could say to each other; even so, she came. She was the only one of the family who did. Even though Ray didn't know what to say to her, he was grateful. She was trying. At least, she was trying.

 

She sighed, shifted on her plastic seat, and didn’t say anything. It was like something had sucked all the Frannie sass out of her. Ray missed it. He wanted her to get angry with him. He wanted her to shout and scream and swear. Break the glass maybe. Hit him. He deserved it.

 

The cord of her phone was twisted into knots. Everything in here was so drab, so ugly.

 

Ray closed his eyes. “How’s Ma?” He couldn’t look at his sister when he asked it.

 

“She’s....” Frannie’s voice trailed off. “Well. She’s pretty much the same.”

 

_Thanks for not lying, Sis._

 

“Yeah.”

 

“She’ll - she’ll come round. She’ll forgive you.” Frannie sounded uncertain. Ray opened his eyes. Yeah, she looked uncertain too. He snorted. If you didn’t know any better, you’d have thought he was laughing.

 

“What’s she going to forgive me for? Losing the house or being a fanook?”

 

Frannie winced. “You shouldn’t have told her.”

 

“It wasn’t exactly a secret by then.”

 

“She wasn’t going to hear it from me.”

 

“She was going to hear it from somebody.”

 

Frannie shook her head and looked at her lap, picking on a loose seam. “I’m sorry about - you know. When you told me. I’m sorry that I -”

 

“Hey. Don’t worry, Sis. It was my fault. I should have told you already.”

 

“I should have guessed.” Her voice was low.

 

“Why would you? I was never queer before.”

 

“I made such a fool of myself.” She blinked. “You must think I’m such an idiot.”

 

Ray closed his eyes again. “No,” he said. “You were right, Frannie. I’m a coward.” He sighed. “I should have told you.”

 

“Hey.” She tapped the glass. “Look at me.”

 

He looked.

 

“I’m sorry,” she said, and visibly steeled herself. “It’s not our fault Fraser was a bastard.”

 

Ray flinched. “No,” he said. “No, he wasn’t.”

 

“Yes,” she said. “Yes, he was. It wasn’t your job to tell me to back off. It was his. And he didn’t. He coulda said straight out that he wasn’t interested. I’d have been upset, but I’d have stopped.”

 

Ray nodded. He knew that. Or he would have done if he hadn’t been so stupid jealous and insecure. Frannie was persistent, but she wasn’t a fool, even if her behaviour around Fraser had made her look like one. And she did have a point. Benny should have said something. But - but he was shy. He hadn’t wanted to hurt her feelings. He....

 

_Oh God._

 

“Benny isn’t -” He choked for a moment. “He wasn’t....”

 

He couldn’t do it. He couldn’t talk about Benny in the past tense. “He isn’t a bastard.”

 

Frannie just looked at him. For a moment he couldn’t read her expression - then it hit him. Pity.

 

“Ray,” she said. Her voice was gentle, as though she was talking to a frightened child. “How do you know he wasn’t going with her?”

 

_Oh God._

 

“No.”

 

“Ray - think about it. He handled stolen goods for her, he -”

 

“No.”

 

She glared at him and raised her voice. “Ray!”

 

He glared back. “What?”

 

The guard was moving toward him.  _We’re shouting I’m shouting._ He couldn’t stop.  He jerked to his feet. “What the hell are you saying, Frannie?”

 

“She didn’t even have a gun. You imagined it - she’d dropped it on the platform. How do we know he’s even dead?” Her pale face and shadowed eyes were furious. “There was  _no_ sign of foul play, no clue -”

 

“She doesn’t  _leave_  clues,” Ray spat. “She doesn’t even leave fucking fingerprints. She gets away with murder. She -”

 

“Ray! Listen to yourself! You’re the only one who still thinks he’s innocent, and  _you’re_  the one in prison.”

 

The guard came up behind him, grabbed his elbow.

 

“Vecchio,” he said. “Sit down, or I’ll remove you.”

 

Ray barely registered him. “Benny wouldn’t - he couldn’t - he -”

 

“He would! He did!” Frannie was standing now too. “He skipped bail, Ray. We’re gonna lose the home. You gambled everything on him. You gambled  _us_  on him.” She jerked her hand, stabbing her finger at him. “And he  _dumped_  you.”

 

For a second Ray thought he was going to smash his fist against the glass. But it was Frannie standing there. His kid sister. His kid sister who was homeless because he was an idiot. Because -

 

Ray turned abruptly, twisting in the guard's grasp and dropping the phone. He had wanted Frannie to be angry with him, but he hadn’t expected so much truth.

 

“I’ll go now,” he told the guard. “I gotta go.”

 

Behind him, he heard a muffled sound, like a knock on the door. Frannie, slapping her palm or knuckles against the glass. He couldn’t bear to see her. She was right.

 

It hit him with a dreadful clarity, the fact that he had been trying, so hard, to avoid.

 

_Benny left me. He left._

**Author's Note:**

> Although this stands alone it is the seed of a longer work. (In which Fraser may, or may not, be redeemed.)


End file.
